Liar, Liar…Pants on Fire!

The unfortunate and sad truth of the matter in our lives we all encounter people who lie to us. There are different justifications form a liar’s viewpoint…to protect you or your feelings, keep you from finding something out, protect themselves from some perceived threat or blame or to cause you harm. Regardless of the liars reasoning behind their wild tales or denials, the end result will leave a bad taste in your mouth. A betrayal is still a betrayal no matter what colour brush that you paint it with. Even IF a liar has the best intentions towards you, it is still a breakdown of trust between the two of you. The trust issues are something that can be very fragile especially if this same trust has been worn down over a period of time. Why does a liar lie? Many times they can actually believe what they’re doing is protecting you from something or another. In reality though, each subsequent lie cuts deeper and does more damage than the first. A liar truly seldom has your best interests at heart. The bottom line is that they do NOT want to face the consequences of their actions and are fearful of the repercussions; so they rely on a lie to cover up. If successful, the reward is two-fold; they get away with the lie AND they have successfully avoided the repercussions of their actions. Unsuccessful gambles also carry a two-fold effect; first they have the original sin that the lie was covering up and then the ripple effect of having to suck up to the fact that they lied. So, when you confronted your liar did they breakdown and act as if they were deeply remorseful about what they did? Did they appear embarrassed? Everything’s going merrily along until you figure out the lie and then they are full of regret and remorse…hmmm. What I get from this is that as long as everything is rolling along to the liking of the liar; then all is good with the world and they have no remorse period. Do the lies REALLY benefit you …or… the liar? I’ll let you decide. Lying is a conscious choice, no matter how quickly or completely our emotions come into play, we cannot forget this. Whether it’s sadness, confusions, anger or numbness; it doesn’t matter. At this point when the liar is begging for forgiveness and obviously upset, we are very susceptible to instant forgiveness in an attempt to make the liar feel less upset. Unfortunately this sets the precedent for the liar to know he can get away with it in the future. If they don’t fear any serious side effects of getting caught; then they will have no problem trying it again….and again. Liars manipulate with their lies, but they can also just as easily manipulate you with their emotions. On the flip side of this; coming down hard on the liar when you discover it, can cause even more lying in the future as well. Instead of lying because they know they can get away with it, they are now lying out of fear. ………..THE EASIEST SOLUTION IS DON’T LIE AT ALL!!……… You can explain this to a liar and you will be favoured with a placating nod which you may or may not believe, or you may be on the receiving end of a blank stare. The liar does not get it….They’re like the kid in the playground that lies about who broke the window or who pushed who. Whoever is the most convincing gets the prize. They are unable to fathom a life without lies. Most honest people, despite the fact that the repercussions might be major will generally ‘fess up and tell the truth and take the consequences good or bad. In a nutshell, it boils down to maturity and bearing the consequences of their actions. A liar would sooner not tell the truth OR suffer any hardship due to their actions. Unfortunately the liar would be hard-pressed to remember all the lies and who they told all the lies to in their lifetime….so….why start now?

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