Consistent Uncertainties

Never underestimate your power to heal with a kind smile or hurt with a simple word.

Why didn’t I figure it out sooner?

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Most people would think that it would be easy to tell if their spouse or lover is lying. Keeping in mind that couples are intimately aware of their spouse and because of this they will know how that particular person behaves; i.e. what is normal behaviour.

This should make it easier to catch a spouse or lover in a lie by watching body language and out of the ordinary changes. Makes sense, right? In most cases however the opposite is generally true.

Love is blind.

In my experience, people in love put tons of trust in their spouses and as a result they think they know them well. This trust provides involved persons with a sense of security and comfort, but unfortunately in the wrong hands it creates an opportunity for deception and extramarital affairs.

Lovers actually have a tougher time telling when their partners are lying. People are more willing to give their partners (even the cheaters) the benefit of the doubt. More often than not, people have a difficult time imagining that their partner could be lying.

Many of  the lies people tell to their romantic partners, never get discovered, or discovered much later.  Moreover, even the worst lies that people are told are “glossed over” or denied. Seeing the truth for what it is would simply cause too much pain.

Most of our lives are busy;  jobs, kids, soccer games, all the extras that come our way over the course of our daily routines. Don’t beat yourself up for too long about missing some of these details. You’re not a super-hero!

It’s easy to lie in a close relationship, because most people do not really want to hear the truth. The truth is often very unpleasant and painful. Often they will go out of their way to believe a lover’s lie rather than dig for the truth. At the time it hurts less.

Lying to a spouse or lover is easy, because loved ones make it easy.

If you’re gut tells you that something’s amiss, maybe it’s prudent to check into a few things quietly.


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