I get many comments from people when speaking to them about this blog. The stories vary from person to person but the resounding responses from each and every one of them is that “it hurts so badly”. I received a message of a different sort recently from someone I will refer to as “M” and since it sheds a new light on our topic of cheating; it’s important that it be mentioned. If you’ve been a victim in the past, it’s hard but important to keep an open mind and open heart. This person did cheat on her husband once in the past during an extremely difficult time in her life.
HOWEVER, through all the ensuing pain and emotion, she and her husband have saved their relationship. Their love has survived and is stronger than ever. Anybody who’s been cheated on may be jaded by their own personal experience to have a hard time with this, but it’s imperative that we recognize the essential good in people too! While this is not the ideal circumstances by which to re-build your marriage, the bottom line is that they are committed to making their relationship work and willing to take a chance on each other once again. I personally think it’s great to hear a positive outcome from the pain.
Despite the fact that the victims get hurt; we must always be aware that in some instances the cheater gets hurt very badly as well. Granted if your cheater is a repeat offender, this may be an entirely different case. A person who has cheated once and felt all the their raw emotions and those of their spouse, I believe feels all the hurt and pain and does both deserve and earn a second chance in a relationship. It is from this point and this point alone that one can rebuild the damage. The key here is a moral conscience and a need to come clean. Without it you’re a lost soul never responsible for your actions. When you allow yourself to start from ground zero on an emotional level and begin anew, you’ve got no place to go but up!
Thanks for the reminder “M”, all the best!