It’s interesting to me to realize how much healing and acknowledgment i had yet to do. Until writing this blog, I thought i had pretty much put everything from the past into prospective. But perhaps prospective is not the same as healing. Maybe this blog is my final hurdle with regards to the past and what the implications have meant to me over the years. The hurt, which i had earlier thought I had dealt with, was still there amazingly close to the surface. To say I was shocked would be a severe understatement. Surprised as I was, and as difficult as it has been; it was high time to deal with the emotional aspect once and for all. Perhaps the healing is a gradual process. I guess i always knew that; however after 10 years and some distance from the situation, I would have thought that the effects would have receded into the woodwork of time. I have always, no matter what, had the resources to rationalize situations as they unfolded. That does NOT mean that I always had the right answers, just that I would often question things. I have ALWAYS questioned situations and strove for answers, which is why, I guess, that this has hit me like a brick wall. For me in the situation I was in, not getting all the facts of course, it was a little bit like taking back whatever control I could have at the time given the situation. Fortunately due to the distance and time, my child and I have the luxury now of looking at the situation with a little more clarity. Being removed from the high drama and emotion and really take a look at things in the rear view mirror is a positive and cathartic experience. It was a healing move to break the chains and move from the area; away from the family and the ex that carefully executed and practices their stories both for my benefit and that of my child. In a way, that was the true beginning of the healing process. While immersed in their hi-jinx and world of deception how could either of us see the forest for the trees. Meeting and being involved with an exceptional man who has become such a positive life force and support system was yet another surprise in our lives. Both for a young girl sadly in need of a positive male parental model within the home and for myself who had thought myself too damaged and incomplete from the grievous life that was ours for so long; it was and is a continually surprising relief. One that I am eternally grateful for.
Coming soon! http://www.cheateralert.com
Working toward a better future!