Consistent Uncertainties

Never underestimate your power to heal with a kind smile or hurt with a simple word.

Knee-Jerk Reactions


There have been many reactions since I started writing this blog in September. Not the least of which are the people who wonder why is it necessary after all these years to re-visit the pain…there are also, others who quietly speak amongst themselves who wonder if I have truly given up the past. The truth of the matter is that I have long since learned to embrace my future without my ex. Granted it was no small feat with so much of my life intertwined with his; but thankfully that particular chapter has closed. The years since have held so much special meaning to me that I can’t begin to relate in words. Simply put, there’s a lot to be said for the simpler life. The complexities that I left behind are better served remaining in the past. Those same people would no doubt wonder why on earth after all this time would I want to re-examine and re-open these old war wounds if I wasn’t still enamoured by his charms. The answer is multi-layered and I’ll do my best to state it clearly and in a way that someone walking in those shoes might understand. First and foremost, I do this not for myself and the pity or scorn that it may bring, I prefer to live in a less dramatic atmosphere. This blog is an opportunity to alert anyone in a similar type of relationship. Now it’s true that many times we sit in denial and instead prefer to hope for the changes in a relationship that may or may not come our way. These old scenarios become new again in the hands of  newer, younger, smarter con artists. They own these tales and it becomes their credo. What was old becomes new again. Remarkably, the stories and situations may become convoluted but the excuses and the bare facts remain the same. So, having said that, I am hopeful that anyone in a situation remotely similar. might have a little twinge or insight enough to remove themselves from a situation before it encompasses their life and robs them of precious years. During the re-living and re-telling of these years; I have been surprised to discover a whole new level of healing and dealing. I have realized now that if I hadn’t pushed on in my healing, I would have plateaued with so much more distance to travel. What would I have demonstrated to my daughter who is moving into the years of dating and relationships. Would this have translated in her mind to a lack of attention on my part or my lack of concern for my emotional well-being or a lack of concern for hers? Would that have been rationalized as permissable? Would this have let her believe that it’s okay for something like this to happen; that it’s just life! I would rather pass along the lesson that it’s NOT okay; move past it and move on with the business of living without the guilt that these con artists love to instill in our minds. The residues of self-doubt that have the ability to haunt us if not for the continued healing; these same demons were still alive and well deep down inside.  I don’t wish that for anyone and I don’t wish that for my daughter. My interpersonal dealings with this man are thankfully minimal at this stage of my daughter’s life but she has a lifetime of exposure and potential emotional baggage and damage that could be devastating as she moves through her life. So as a mother, I move into protective mode, and as our children learn by example so shall mine. I don’t have any grandiose plans that this small blog will save the world; but maybe it will make it a better, more responsible place for a few.


3 thoughts on “Knee-Jerk Reactions

  1. I actually do understand you writing about this stuff. This kind of thing is difficult to let ago of ….and we NEVER EVER forget it when it happens to us. And, for some of us, it seems as if it is helpful to get it out on paper so to speak, to let others know the lessons that we learned to try and protect them from falling prey to the same stuff. And, for me, it is so that I always remember and can go back and read how hurt I was when it all happened so that I never ever let it happen again! Great blog!

    • Thanks for your kind comments! I appreciate you visiting and posting your thoughts….I stopped by your blog and stayed a spell. Love your blog! I have linked you on my blogroll….keep on keepin’ on! Best wishes!

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