Consistent Uncertainties

Never underestimate your power to heal with a kind smile or hurt with a simple word.

Pinocchio

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Ever notice that the most cunning and deliberate liars never fail to come with a ready-made excuse? Designed to either make us doubt ourselves or those we’re close to. They quickly learn who to spoon-feed these lies to. Often these lies will come with a few nuggets of the truth wrapped up in the excuses in order to make their stories more believable. Like saying that the traffic was at a stand-still because of a well-reported accident during the day but in the meantime they are on the other end of the city conducting some unsavoury business. Just enough truth in it to make you buy it hook, line and sinker. You could look or read any traffic report and check that yes indeed there was an accident and yes there were cars backed up waiting to get through…..This kind of partial truth are the fodder of the apt liar and keep them in their game. If you trust your spouse, why would you even question this. That’s the kicker. This is why often times something BIG has to set off bells and sirens in your mind before you even begin to suspect that a spouse may have a thing going on the side. By that time, it’s heartbreak city. I’m not recommending that you stalk your spouse or live your life suspiciously questioning his/her whereabouts. I would suggest to you that if your partner is always coming up with excuses or suggestions as to why they’re late or why they’re unable to make it to a special occasion or they’re always working late……these would be warning signs…..BIG ONES! If you’ve arrived at the decision that you’re going to check things out for yourself; conduct yourself in a discreet fashion. Perhaps you might want to surprise them at work with a nice lunch; or take them something at the office for dinner when they’re working late. An important note of mention; you may want to hold off on blowing your cool until you know for sure. The damage caused by distrust and dishonesty can be irreparable in a relationship. In the event that you do find something less than favourable during your sleuthing forays, hold back some vital information. That will give you the ability, when they give you another excuse, to see thru the lie for what it is. Just a little tidbit from someone who knows that the skill of the liar is only matched by dislike of being caught in a lie. If your spouse confesses that he wasn’t truthful; gauge yourself carefully. If the apology is heartfelt, you may want to give that person a chance to redeem themself and earn your trust once again especially if there are children involved in the relationship. Believe me, it would be tons easier to decipher the bs if the liars in the world had noses that grew at the mere mention of the tiniest lies. But then we’d have to hear the honest truth when we ask someone if our butt looks big in this pair of jeans. LOL  Still, some honesty in the dating and relationship game goes a long way. So, if you smell a rat at apology time; listen to your gut.  Chances are that it’s a better judge of the matters of the heart than your heart is.

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