Being the victim of manipulation is a slippery slope of mind-bending and life-altering compromise. Perhaps compromise is not the correct word as it suggests an agreed upon course of action. However, the agreement is jaded in that you have been persuaded by someone who knows what buttons to push to coerce you into agreement. You knowingly make the decision but the facts have been skewed to lead you in a certain direction. In order to play this game, the manipulator must know you very well. This again is a double-edged sword because you will trust this person implicitly to have your best interests at heart. There are manipulators in every facet of life. Your workplace, your home, your relatives, your partner or your friends. Unfortunately by the time you figure out the length and breadth of this form of deception, the damage is deep-seated and difficult to break free of. Much like the child staying close to the abusive parent in order to achieve their badly needed affection and acceptance by that adult; the emotionally abused person tends to radiate to the abuser in the hopes of achieving that peace and emotional acceptance. Plainly said, it is the devil that you know. To take this one step further, the known environment (no matter how abusive this may be) to the abused is more comforting than the unknown elements outside of that abusive circle. The manipulative abuser senses or knows that this fear exists and they play on it. Finances; or lack thereof, the belittling nature of name calling, the withholding of affection or leading someone on by allowing them to believe something that plainly is not true are all forms of manipulation and control. The most unfortunate thing about this form of abuse is that it’s more subtle and highly dangerous as you become accustomed to it and it becomes your life. Because you live it; it becomes the norm for you to live this way. Some manipulators leave but allow you to carry on the cycle by either making you think certain things to keep you on the ropes or plainly don’t come clean with their own agendas and thoughts. This was the case in my adventures; however you can break free and move forward into a new, healthy relationship. So, if you happen to be reading this post and find yourself nodding in agreement, be assured that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Be courageous, lean on your family if you have to or a good friend and remove yourself completely and totally from the situation as best that you can. Once you leave and stay away, you will find your thoughts clearing a little more each day as you sort out the garbage. Don’t take on the guilt; you were a victim of an emotional manipulator and that plain and simple my friends is emotional abuse. Take back your life, get a little help if you need it, and start living your life for YOU.
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