Consistent Uncertainties

Never underestimate your power to heal with a kind smile or hurt with a simple word.

The Exploits and Misadventures of Onion Boy

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Random snippets of real life drama with an ex-husband who lived to lie and cheat and cover his tracks and situations where he financially, emotionally and physically abused. As in many things in life, the truth was buried…buried deep within the layers of the infamous cheater who we will call Onion Boy (O.B. for short). We will strip away the layers for all to see the loser is not the victim but the man who believes he can lie so well that he will never be caught…

Enter winter of 1994, it’s his daughter’s first birthday…the party is over an hour away at my parents’ house and yet we have to drive separate cars to the party. This has been the general rule of thumb, as he has adamantly stated that the women he mistakenly got involved with (and happens to be living with) is some sort of crazy psycho bitch who follows him everywhere. The reason he gives when I ask him why he is there and not with his family if she’s so crazy. Apparently, the reason I was told, was that she owed him money and was holding it over his head. Since he had no income at the time, if he walked away now he would lose everything. The answer I gave him was the same each time I heard this explanation. Leave, who cares, start over again….nothing is worth this. He would always nod and say soon we’d be together or that he’d figure a way out of it…

Anyway, my hope was to be able to video tape my daughter’s birthday, currently I was tapped out of resources having paid off some of his previously owing balances on some of his credit cards…so I asked him if he could manage to price out and possibly get a video recorder to tape the party and future events.

We waited at the party, it was dark and he was late. Car headlights turned into the laneway and sure enough it was him. Better late than never, I thought to myself. To my delight, he had brought a new video camera which he had “bought”. Because I like to keep a file for warranty purposes and a bill of sale in case there are any issues, I asked where the box was. He shrugged and said he left it back in Toronto and would get it to me later.

We enjoyed one of the few evenings we had as a family. Forgetting for a time some of the garbage that was everpresent while back at home. As life often does, I’ve come full circle to realize and discover some of the untruths of the past. Ironically, I still use the camera yet, some 16 years later. It was recently that I used the camera in the presence of a former “friend” of my ex and discovered that this camera was not purchased. This camera was not bought and paid for but rather stolen from her possessions as were so many other things over her time involved with him.

Needless to say, I never did get that operators manual OR the bill of sale, since they weren’t there to be had. Good ol’ O.B. Whenever there’s a lie, he’s never far away. The truth is a delicate seed that if not given light will never grow to the surface.

Welcome to my life with Onion Boy! – stay tuned for much more.

Protect your heart and keep your relationship honest


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