Consistent Uncertainties

Never underestimate your power to heal with a kind smile or hurt with a simple word.

Chasing Bad

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We know the types. The bad boy/bad girl images. Why do we insist on chasing after it? Is the thought of the chase and capture the allure or is it the excitement and dangerous edge that these individuals bring to our mundane, ho-hum existence. Living life vicariously through someone else, escaping the duldrums of our everyday life, maybe that’s it. It’s a classic no win situation. Trying to live your life through someone elses is and always will be..a recipe for disaster.

The charismatic and dangerous players offer very little in the way of security and peace of mind for the future. So what’s wrong with the way we’re wired psychologically? A logical thought process would have us looking in the direction of a stable and like-minded person that shares commonalities and interests with us. The laws of attraction, however, are anything but logical and thus we find ourselves mired in difficulties, high dramas and dangerous behaviours that can cause us misery and pain. Blindly going where our hearts and fantasies lead us instead of allowing our thoughts and rationale to lead us in a more positive direction.

Perhaps it’s as simple as the age-old expression of “opposites attract”. Like two opposite poles of a magnet. But the problem is the attraction can be so strong that we put on internal blinders and allow ourselves to be treated like crap by people that we normally wouldn’t have associated with because they’re either so far out of reach, out of bounds or fall just outside our parents teachings. So what happens when these players shower us with praise and gifts. We find ourselves flattered and more than a little affected by their attentions. We play into their trap and set ourselves up for a major fall because the classic bad boy/bad girl has no intention of “settling” for the likes of the average person. There are by far bigger game in their proverbial sights than the average person. Hence the problem that the good person faces when they fall into “lust” with the typical bad person image. Sure it’s exciting in the beginning; but there’s only so much excitement that one person can handle without having a little bit of reality creep into the scenario. It’s all well and good to have excitement in your life; everybody deserves a break in their routine. BUT, when the fantasy world takes over your rational thought and causes you to go in a direction that you feel uncomfortable, this is where the average person gets into a rut. Even excitement and living on the edge becomes old after a time. The normal person craves the security and comfort of something or someone that they can count on. Case in point, despite the rise in divorce rates, marriages are still frequent and desired by many. Even if the walk down the aisle doesn’t take place, more and more people are living together as common-law. Our innate desire to love and be loved takes over in the end. Why do we spend so many years of angst fighting the natural urge to find someone with which to spend our later years?

The irony in this is that most people would turn back the clock and live through some of those moments in their life if they had the opportunity. Maybe the edginess of that lifestyle holds its appeal long after our bodies begin to show the ravages of a life lived. We are offered romanticized images in magazines, on television and now on the internet. We have a preconceived notion about what’s acceptable and what’s not by what the media projects. Perhaps that’s part and parcel of the attraction and the goals we set for ourselves and as such get caught up with the gypsies and bandits that play a number on our heartstrings and leave without a backward glance. Is it human development or an exercise in futility? Wouldn’t those energies be better placed in a direction that is conducive to a healthy, emotionally sound and positive relationship or would accepting that thesis somehow diminish us and allow us to think that we’re settling for second best.

Either way you slice it, your take on this argument will be defined by how you have lived your life and what travels you have taken on that journey. One thing’s for sure, life is seldom truly boring. Sometimes the best you can do is to learn how to roll with the punches and move forward.  “Life’s Unfair; Protect Your Heart!


One thought on “Chasing Bad

  1. it’s true, sometimes rolling with the punches is all someone can do

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