When you’re a child, little white lies are a normal and expected way of how we discover what’s morally right and wrong. Moving into adulthood,, the lies often become excuses for our own shortcomings. Even the small, insignificant white lies become a problem when interacting with a spouse or a partner; trust and respect will always suffer, leading into many other destructive thoughts and feelings in that relationship. Here are five of the most common relationship lies.
1. Intimacy will satisfy my unhappiness. If you’re not happy with yourself; no amount of intimacy will help you feel happy and content in your relationship. The work that needs to be done always starts with number one; yourself. Find out what you’re missing or has happened in your life that makes you feel like you need to fill a void … and address it. Self-awareness will need to be your goal. Once you have reached a point where you are contented within yourself; you will become a well-balanced partner. Then, the sky’s the limit with you and your partner!
2. The grass is greener. Easily the biggest lie that we tell ourselves in a relationship. Identifying why we choose “flight” from one relationship to the next, over “fight” for those we love will always boil down to how much we want to work at something. Very often running away from a relationship is a sign of laziness and lack of resolve. Examining why we tend to run rather than stick it out and see something to the end. can be difficult and requires addressing past issues and role models in our lives.
3. The more I have, the more significant and successful I am. In a world of take, take, take; this is becoming a frightening trend. People living on borrowed money and credit in order to achieve more. What they frequently find out too late, is that in that scramble to work or gain that perceived status, they end up losing the things that money just simply cannot buy. Working toward a realistic goal will ensure that there’s time and energy for what’s important in your lives rather than the brass ring that’s completely out of reach.
4. If other people would just shape up, my life would be better. People love to blame others for their shortcomings. By deflecting the blame from themselves, they don’t ever have to look at the bigger picture. It leaves them free to move forward without any sense of how their choices affected the situation. It’s a dangerous precedent to set and one that can stop a relationship dead in its tracks. If both parties are immovable on an issue; each blaming the other, the partnership is done. Kaput.
5. I have to go where my job takes me, I have no choice. You always have a choice. We all too commonly take no initiative on making our jobs fit our lives. Too often, lives revolve around work schedules and that likely can’t be helped. When it becomes a problem is when work takes on a larger share of the burden and family or home life suffers as a result. Constant travelling and consistently late hours can send a relationship into a downward spiral if there is a point of balance that can be achieved; it may work in your favour. The problems often begin when the spouse that is left at home in the weekends and evenings shoulders all of the additional burdens of family life, decisions, finances and extra commitments of children and family responsibilities.