Consistent Uncertainties

Never underestimate your power to heal with a kind smile or hurt with a simple word.

Damned If You Do….Damned If You Don’t

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Many find love online; but the numbers are staggering and growing for online fraudsters playing with your heartstrings….and your pocketbook!

“Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love. – Erich Fromm

Gosh kinda warms you down to your toes, right? Gee…love’s grand! And I honestly believe it. Now I’ve never been one to buy into the fantasy world aspect of love; my preferred choice is an honest, no-holds-barred kind of relationship. You know what I mean? It’s more of a love affair with the truth rather than some idyllic romance that always falls short of the mark. I guess that’s why I have trouble with the whole online love scams that are finding themselves front row and centre in many newscasts. From murders to kidnappings to random gun sprees…online dating and scams are beginning to become a prominent headline. Now I’ve never been a HUGE fan of online dating, but several friends and family have made successful love matches. This has been my only personal experiences short of seeing the horror stories that the media portrays. Life’s funny that way, the media’s grasp on this subject is just that….subjective. And we all know that the media portrays the bad, attention-grabbing headlines way ahead of anything that’s of a kinder, gentler nature. With all that in mind, I guess I’ve been lukewarm on the idea of finding a love interest online, anyway as I’m not shopping, my thinking is that if it works for you…GO FOR IT!

Rewind to the events of the last couple of weeks. I now have a family member, caught in the clutches of a scammer. How do I know for sure? I guess I don’t. Based on the minimal details and the picture provided, my gut instinct, that something’s seriously wrong, has been flashing red on my well-used radar. Could it be the image that appears to be staged – kind of like a modelling picture or one of those images you buy online. Having done plenty of reading on scammers of late, the number of fake photos used are absolutely staggering! Maybe it’s the far-fetched tale of woe or the aliases that she’s made common knowledge. Add to that a trifecta of health issues, an abduction at birth and the icing on the cake…the money he’s sending to her. Plus the added bonus that he’s never met her. (ok, now i’ve got your attention). She was 24 but no, wait a minute, she’s now only 21. She lives in the U.S., he in Canada so he can’t readily knock on her door and say hi (or check on her story either). That is just the tip of the iceberg.  Now as I said earlier, I’m a fan of love and romance, but when the rose-coloured glasses distort your perception of what’s possible and what is ludicrous….well, then that’s when my foot comes down. Right thru the floor.

In what was hoped to be a plea for this family member to ask questions, fill in the blanks, seek proof; I took pen to paper…er….well, actually mouse to computer, but you get the point. It took some doing to put it in a way that would be concise and to the point. The story is more convoluted than the seedy paperback romance novels you used to see at the grocery store check-out! Actually it’s a bit of Harlequin Romance meets National Enquirer, but none the less, I endeavoured to make my point. I sent the email, hoping for the best.

What I received back was nothing short of a disaster. I won’t bore you with the details but this family member is now claiming that i’m guilty of defamation of character, slander, as well as something else that i can’t remember right at this moment. OMG, all this from wanting to help. puleeze. So I’m in a quandary over whether I did the right thing by pointing out the obvious or whether I should have just shrugged my shoulders and let him take his lumps…which for all intents and purposes seems like he’s going to do anyway? So I guess the name of this post is fairly apt. Most assuredly, I’m damned ’cause I did.

Understandably, I’m looking for answers to all of this jumble of crap. I’m interested in knowing about your online experiences and how you dealt with them. First names only please!

As far as the love thing goes, I’m still a believer and I’d even go so far as to say that I believe you can find love online. But to love and trust a stranger blindly and not question? In my eyes, you’re asking for a shit-load of problems that way! Sure you can be lucky but who wants to take that kind of liberty with their health, happiness and financial well-being. So when it comes to love and me, I guess I’m more comfortable with the old adage…”Be of love a little more careful than of anything – e.e. cummings”



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