Consistent Uncertainties

Never underestimate your power to heal with a kind smile or hurt with a simple word.

About The Author

I was in a long-term relationship with a man for many years. (thankfully I’m with an amazing guy now) If those around me in his family would have told me the truth a long time ago, I could have spared myself and my family a ton of hurt brought on by this man. They kept from me, abuse issues with other women, numerous infidelities,  thefts and embezzlement to name but a few.

I started this blog because liars and cheats get away with their dirty business all the time and leave a wake of ruin behind them. I know this first-hand, unfortunately. My ex, is on the loose, in Mississauga Ontario. Whether he was married, engaged, single; he was always the player that was looking for the next victim. He lied to, he stole from, he will abuse (both mentally and physically) if it suits his purposes and he has cheated on every woman in his life. EVERY woman….including the young woman he’s married to. I wonder if she has a clue that he’s consistently been on the prowl for his next piece of action throughout their courtship and marriage? Unfortunately, we all too often turn a blind eye and trust well beyond the point when our gut instincts tell us to sit up and take notice.

Repeatedly, I get asked if I’m happy and if I truly am, then I would leave this chapter of my life behind me. The problem with that, is in this world, we all have a network of famiy and friends. If that network that you’re surrounded by, as was mine, chose to add to the hurt by deceiving me further, then words like this might be able to help someone put things into prospective in their own lives.

Ironic is the fact that writing this blog has helped me gain once again the clarity in my life. That same clarity has allowed me to step back from the mess that was once my life and view it more objectively. Yes, my past is still a part of me and likely always will be. I have morphed into a new kind of me and that’s okay by me..

If this blog can help even one woman or one man and spare them the hurt that I and others have gone through, then my words will not have been in vain. That one reason, is the fundemental reason for this blog’s existence. Cheers and thanks for stopping by!

Voted one of the top 100 domestic violence blogs by Daily Reviewer

21 thoughts on “About The Author

  1. I wonder if the woman he is going to marry has any clue?

  2. I wish more people would take their heads out of the sand.

    I’ve done ‘googles’ of reading on this subject; first, because of my own multi-victim status (by more than one sociopath); and second, because I’m fascinated by the human mind.

    Everyone (as in everyone) has messed up wiring in their gray matter. No one can escape that, but it seems the majority are unwilling to accept that.

    I forget where I recently read this, but I believe it was a university study that showed more people are willing to believe lies, than they are the truth.

    And if it weren’t for all those perfectly wired people (who are also gullible and shallow), sociopaths would have little power. Their power comes from their disciples (those I consider the most gullible) and the sheep who all line up to be part of the “in-group.”

    My character has been totally destroyed, and it was occurring for years without me knowing. The most highly ‘skilled’ sociopaths (I was married to a master) will not only destroy a character, but convince others not to even associate or speak with them. So people listen to the liars who tell them not to listen to those telling the truth … so they don’t.

    • You are absolutely right! It’s baffling as to why this is the way it is…but I too know for a fact from personal experience. I used to think I was a good judge of character however now I’m not sure.

      • >> “I used to think I was a good judge of character …”

        You probably still are, but must adapt with your new knowledge as I needed to. But my instincts were heavily based on trust, and since sociopaths show no guilt or remorse, they make it virtually impossible, or at least much more difficult for my instincts to catch everything.

        I call it the red flag … and now I realize the slightest, faintest appearance of a even a tiny red flag can not be ignored. I do not file anything away until I’m satisfied I can make sense of what caused the flag. And that often leads to more flags, bigger flags, and eventually the flag pole, itself, hits me in the head.

  3. Hi,
    Thanks for visiting my site and placing me on your blogroll. I visited Cheat Buster and I am impressed with your insight and courage. I placed you on my blog roll as well and hopefully my readers will enjoy your site as much as I did.
    If you’d like a few tips on growing your reader base, please let me know. I know there are many women out there that can learn from you and your experience.
    Please continue to inform women of the unworthy men that are out there and eventually we may be able to educate enough to make a real difference in this world.

    Thanks again for visiting my site,

    Anonymousmale1

    P.S. Oh, and about your ex, in a month or so I will be launching a new website that will seriously damage the way men such as he and others operate. I’ll keep you posted.

    • Thank for visiting cheatbuster! We’re here to help any way we can.If only a few people look at this blog and walk away with more of an insight than when they came on, then I’m content. Your suggestions with respect to creating a larger reading base will get the word out to a broader cross-section of people and I’m all ears! With regards to my ex and others like him; I have another project in the works which I’ll keep you posted as well……additionally, thank you for your kind words, they are truly appreciated!

  4. Well look at that-I am not alone! I just started a fan page on Facebook yesterday called “Cheaters Never Prosper! When will they learn…”. I will look for you on FB and add. My now ex-boyfriend cheated after nearly a year of what was a pretty intense, good relationship. It appeared good. However, he had an office in Indiana. When he was working over there for a few days off and on, we were still in constant communication and all was well until he hired a secretary for the office there. I am an adult, our relationship was good, and I was pretty secure-we had talked about the future and all those indicators that things may be headed in the right direction-or so I thought. He talked about her often, professionally, how good she was in the business. I teased him once asking if she was hot and he laughed and joked about her age. Soon when he was in town with me he would get texts and emails unrtelated to work on a Friday night or a Sunday afternoon. My instincts were kicking in. Then it started he would stay in Indy for the weekend instead of coming home, saying he was working, then he wasn’t calling as much, never from the office anymore and never late at night. If I called him he seldom answered, text or voice and I knew. Then he came home for a weekend and chose not to get together at all and hardly called, saying he brought some of his sales guys in from Indy for work. I called him out on that because I hadn’t seen him in a week-he got all defensive but we talked and I thought the issue was resolved and boom. Almost a month went by and he wouldn’t call, text, email-no response to me at all. I knew and I left him messages trying to get him to fess up and break up and he never did. Coward. I went out one night and ran into some of his friends and all I said to them was that he just quit talking to me and I didn’t know why (even tho I knew). That got back to him and he sent me a text (not in person or by phone) that said he and I were done and he was seeing someone else and when I responded he tried to put the blame on me and told me I had no need to be mad and he was never really into me anyway. Although he never fessed up to the secretary, I confirmed that recently and he still thinks I don’t know it was her all along…

    • The one thing I know for sure is that you are definitely not alone. Check out the blogroll on this blog if you need further reassurance. It sounds to me like your gut instincts were in high gear and right on the mark. I had a similar instance to yours with his “first” (ahem…..now i know there were more) affair with Victoria-see Victoria’s secret. I joked about if I had to worry about this woman hehad met in the construction business and he laughed and said “No, she’s definitely not my type”. My instincts were not as finely tuned as yours and I accepted that answer knowing how social and quick-to-make friends he was. Little did I know that this would be the turning point in our lives together and the rest of our time together would be full of his lies, manipulations and guilt trips he was never shy about handing to me. The signs were there unfortunately, I just didn’t see them OR maybe I preferred not to see them. I think probably the latter. Hindsight is 20/20. Good for you for digging to find the answers. Sometimes its the only way to make it through and get a piece back that a person like this steals from you. Even if it is just an answer, it offers validation to your emotional roller coaster and gives you the ability to move on past the garbage. Cheers to you and your continued healing!

    • Perhaps he needs to be registered on cheateralert.com and BUSTED!! Go get ‘im sistah, he sounds like someone that has no conscience and no respect.

  5. nice website..different. I have a dilemma myself. I am confused about a “resident doctor” I worked with briefly. It was intenese attraction at first site. I worked with only a few days and then he rotated out. I emailed him to get to know him and maybe become friends. I just felt a connection or a pull. Anyway I emailed him a few times…and in one of my emails said if you have a problem tell me and I’ll stop. Well a month and half go by thinking my emails are ok and he sends me this mean email to stop emailing him very formal. Needless to say he said I was harassing him and went to supervisor, I got in trouble. A couple months go by I start getting these calls at my house anonomoyous..wierd texts from strangers who I felt knew me…and when I would pass him in hallways he would smile at me. Very confusing right? All of a sudden he is on lindedin and I get updates on new people. I felt bad for what happened and sent a message via linkedin saying I’m sorry if I did anything to make you think of me in a bad way and that I didn’t expect a response. ANyway I kept bumping into him and so upset that I was humiliated by him at work thought I would risk calling him and asking for an explanation he sounded like two different people. Very hostile and said he would report me and I freaked and told my husband what happened and then I went ot my Director to explain. A couple weeks go by he did report me and they investigated he said was afraid of me and I was stalking him….totally untrue… I look like a freak now. Totally humiliated again. A couple months have gone by and I am getting these anonomyous calls again. I know it’s him…. can’t explain I just know. I feel like I am being manipulated and can’t figure it out. I feel like I can’t trust him oh by the way he has moved half mile from our family business on same street. He knows location via facebook or coworkers. I just have a wierd vibe and can’t figure out what is going on in his head. Check out my website for more details. What do you think?

    • be really careful about what you do and where you go alone, he sounds like a major weirdo. It’s like he’s a cat playing with a mouse. I hope your husband is backing you on this and really understands that this guy is a whack-job. Check back in and let me know how you’re doing. Thank you for dropping by, I’ll be sure to check out your site. Best wishes to you!

      • If Zana4 is married, why is she having “intense attraction” feelings and sending emails to another man? Who is the cheater here? I’m confused.

  6. Guido Scott Campellone Of Paso Prime beef is at it again. After Citipacific (Citypacific, etc) mortgage, and Rolling meadows horse medicine you would think people would wise up to this liar and cheater now in Corona, CA.

    Here is what’s been documented as lies:
    Cheated on Wife, Cheated on Mistress of 6 years with other women. Lied to Irvine police about theft and mistress. Lied to police about rape, assault and battery of ex-wife (said he was never there, then later admitted he was but she “wanted it”.
    Lied about being a marine (he wasn’t). Lied about his martial arts background (even to UFC and Manny Paquaio). Lied about driving two years on an expired license, lied about tickets (including ignoring a school crossing guard and highway dumping). Lied about the number of guns he turned in and which were legal. Lied about killing people and protection work. Lied about getting his college girlfriend an abortion. Lied to others that he was “breadwinning for his kids” when he was out cheating or gambling. Lied about poker winnings and his ability with other’s money. Lied that an unlimited credit American Express Black Card was his (it’s his ex wife’s), lied about ex wife in court to obtain kids, Lied that his own parents were divorced for sympathy (they were never married, his mom was his dad’s mistress on another woman with 6 kids. Lied about his cousin’s, their divorces, and his half siblings. Lied about his brother being on the police force (he was fired for domestic violence).
    He lied about his illegal substance use and others around him and the kids. His alcohol use. Home remodeling and taking several people for 10’s of thousands and never remodeling or delivering on properties. (causing several divorces). He lies that he is a trusted advisor or friend of celebrities, and uses that to gain argreements with soprts teams for marketing. He lies about healthy foods or lifestyle (when he slams Pepsi and Chocolate. Lies about any medical background or training for humans or animals. Lied about the horse medicine he sold to famous riders (made in a townhouse garage cement mixer). He lied and performed illegal subprime mortgage fraud (yes, he was one of those guys)and even financed a house in a dead woman’s name to get money out of the property. He lied to the IRS and about the IRS debt he had/has.
    He lies about his former employers and how he was (not) fired. He lied on the stand in an Oregon court case, and in civil court for firing salespeople in order to not pay them commission they were due for their hard work.
    He lied to lenders, buyers and equipment leasers.
    He was caught in 32 various lies during “church counseling” such as time, place, who with, dollar amounts, what occured, minimization, etc.
    He uses church to gain credibility.

  7. What a wonderful thing you are doing by speaking out about this. It’s probably far more common than anyone realizes and the shame around any type of abuse helps perpetuate it. Kudos to you!

  8. MY POEM ,… (A little further down the screen!)

    Seeing the funny side of life (while crying) … 6 yrs ago when I had a great job, my own adorable home, a new car, a ton of friends, a close family, was skinny, had a great credit-score, no debts and my life was happy, normal, calm and importantly, just how I wanted it to be … I thought all I need now is a good man in my life again. Little did I know that the “good man” that came along would cause me to lose ALL of the above. All I can do right now is smile at the irony and know that I will never, ever make that same stupid mistake again.

    I came across ‘The Sociopath” on YouTube. Quite brilliant and very well put together. Thank you. I’m not sure if my husband has Adult ADD or is a Sociopath as the symptoms can intertwine somewhat.

    I’m still ‘married’ and still living under the same roof for another few weeks. We are being evicted and he’s leaving me out in the cold with no where to go having abandoned my friends and family. (Protecting myself from admitting my stupidity and protecting them from knowing what I’ve gone through and the resulting negativity).

    I wrote this just under a year ago but am unfortunately still here. Thank goodness the powers that be have sealed our fates with us being evicted. I guess I had to allow it to get to the lowest of all lows, being homeless, to stop. Every cloud has a silver lining and although I’m frightened right now about my future – I know in a few months time I will be indebted and grateful to the powers that be.

    I expected …
    A husband who respected and protected me. Provided for me. Cherished and loved me.
    A friend who wanted to spend time with me and who enjoyed my company.
    A partner that would, without thinking, always put my needs above the needs of other’s.
    A caring lover who was faithful and wanted only me. No other’s. No Lover’s.
    I thought that’s what marriage was.
    I imagined …
    Roads we’d travel, journey’s we’d share, the lifetime together we’d enjoy – All hand-in-hand.
    A home full of laughter and love. The spontaneous silly you! The dances. The songs.
    (Your oh so quick wit. I used to LOVE you making me laugh).
    I imagined reciprocation: respect, love, support, caring, sharing.
    I never imagined they’d not be reciprocated or that you’d be kinder to a complete stranger.
    I thought …
    You’d always have respect & true appreciation for my honesty, faithfulness, integrity.
    My kindness, selflessness, intelligence and many skills that make me special.
    Yes, I thought you’d show gratitude – on occasion.
    No, I never thought I’d be the door mat under your feet.
    I hoped …
    That the twinkle in your eyes for me, would never diminish and you’d always be kind.
    That you would always want to make me happy and would never enjoy making me cry.
    That you’d never do anything to physically harm me and would hurt anyone who did.
    That you would be honest with me and about me, always. I was wrong.
    My reality …
    On any given day I might get your anger or your cold shoulder.
    Your intensity or your scarcity. Your silence or your loudness.
    Your spiteful & hateful tongue. Your name calling & contempt.
    Your disrespect and bullying. Your narcissistic one-way-street.
    On a bad day; Despicably. Verbally, emotionally, physically.

    (And you say that I’ve changed – that I’m not the woman that you married anymore?!)

    My future – alone …
    For a while – but I’ll not be lonely. Alone – I will find solace and healing.
    The weight I’ve gained (because I sought comfort in food) – I’ll lose.
    The friends and family that I distanced myself (and the negativity) from – I’ll gain back.
    The financial stress and disastrous lack of control in my own destiny – I will control.
    The disorder, disorganization, mess and clutter – will be gone.
    The low self-esteem, worthlessness, ugliness and inadequacies that I feel – will be replaced.
    Instead, I’ll be content, confident and caring in a world I’ll chose to fill with positive things:
    Joy, love, happiness, laughter to name but a few.
    I’ll be 100% ME again – like the me that you fell in love with.
    I’ll find the good in life again. My soul will be revived.
    And that is my future – alone – for a while.

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