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Random snippets of real life drama with an ex-husband who lived to lie and cheat and cover his tracks and situations where he financially, emotionally and physically abused. As in many things in life, the truth was buried…buried deep within the layers of the infamous cheater who we will call Onion Boy (O.B. for short). We will strip away the layers for all to see the loser is not the victim but the man who believes he can lie so well that he will never be caught…
In and around the summer of 1992,my ex and my brother-in-law entered into discussion about forming a new company. O.B having been laid off from a long time position in Scarborough/Pickering area, had been looking for work. This was an ideal situation for my ex. I guess he was allergic to the idea of work, because he spent most of his time on the phone at their jobs or he didn’t bother to show up. Frustrating to say the least for the partner carrying all the weight. Not only did we as a couple not have money available to put into the corporate coffers; he was not putting in his share of the time. This left my brother-in-law doing most everything right down to the money required to do name search, business cards, letter head, etc. Prior to his poor work ethic which he showed to everyone, he had installed a separate phone line in our spare room of our apartment for the “business”. A business he didn’t contribute to in any fashion other than lip service. Long before I became aware of his slothly ways at work, I began hearing the phone ringing in the other room on an occasional basis. I was instructed to “let it ring” as it would be clients calling regarding work or quotes for jobs. I was a “good little wifey” and let the phone ring when I heard it, knowing the answering service on the phone would take the messages. Of course, the answering service was password protected. One day, the phone was ringing in a particularly annoying, more than occasional pattern. My ex was nowhere to be found; having left to go to “work”. I answered the phone; took a message. I got an odd look from him when I gave him this message after he got home. I didn’t receive any warnings or chastising for picking up the call; so I began answering the annoying calls on occasion. Interestingly enough, all his clients were women. They spoke as if they were very familiar with him, not your typical clients who you would think would be business-like in their manner. I had gotten used to O.B. having female friends; I was not the jealous type ever; at least not at that time anyway. I chalked it up to his charismatic way with people and that was that. One day, I took a call from a woman who asked who I was when I answered the phone. When I said I was his wife, there was silence for a moment and then the caller politely asked me to have “Onion Boy” give her a call when he got home. Again, my senses should have kicked in, but I was simply too trusting. I was a heartbreak away from reality.
It wasn’t until Christmas/holiday season that year till our life together began to radically change. There was a trip to Montreal (he told me)….interesting that he told my parents that he was going to the Orient….anyway, that’s a story for another day.
The classic pattern that O.B. would use was well into play. The old ruse about an extra phone line in the house for “business” calls has been used time and time again by him. He never likes to be completely out of touch in any situation; as he needs to be able to move with the situation and put out any fires that may need to be extinguished before he ends up having a suspicious wife following him to “work” or an unhappy mistress/fling discovering that he’s really living at home with his wife. A scorned woman is fairly certain to pick up a phone and give a piece of their mind especially if they think they’re being screwed over and they don’t know where he lives. So, this and his cell phone (which he’s never without) allow him that extra security. O.B. doesn’t like surprises; he’d rather be the one in the limelight, basking in his own perceived world of “perfection”.
Needless to say, the business never stood a chance; my brother-in-law and anything he personally put into getting the business off the ground was left in the dust for the next big “score” by good ol’ O.B. Whenever there’s a lie, he’s never far away. The truth is a delicate seed that if not given light will never grow to the surface.
Welcome to my life with Onion Boy! – stay tuned for much more.