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Random snippets of real life drama with an ex-husband who lived to lie and cheat and cover his tracks and situations where he financially, emotionally and physically abused. As in many things in life, the truth was buried…buried deep within the layers of the infamous cheater who we will call Onion Boy (O.B. for short). We will strip away the layers for all to see the loser is not the victim but the man who believes he can lie so well that he will never be caught…
During the last few months of any pregnancy come the escalation of the doctor’s visits and preparation for the hospital stay, etc. Mine was no exception. I went to all the duly appointed doctor’s appointments and ultra-sounds. By myself. At this point, I suppose I had resigned myself to knowing or at least acknowledging some part that I was in this alone.Despite this, Onion Boy was still dropping around and getting his piece of the action and I was hopeful enough (or stupid enough) to carry on relations with him. One thing about O.B., he always knew how to play people. Always knew the right thing to say to make you feel sorry for him and make you want to help him make things better. In a nutshell, this is his game. Anyway, on one of these doctor’s appointments, the doctor did some further testing only to discover that I had been the recipient of a rather nasty STD. Again, the fragile bottom of my world dropped out and I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised by the outcome. But I was. You see, I had been involved with O.B. for so large a part of my life at this time (11 or 12 years) , that I thought, no matter what, I was always safe with him (he would always carry out his promise to keep me safe). Pffft…so much for that. As was explained to me by the doctor, there could be no procedure until well after my baby was delivered. So along with all my other burdens, I carried the real possibility that there was a ticking time bomb that could turn into something that could make me infertile or turn cancerous. The sexual irresponsibilitiy of this man never truly surfaced until much later, but that should have been a red flag flashing in my face. Instead, he blamed the transference and spread to the woman he was living with whom he had claimed was a relationship of strife and abuse (on her part). Little did I know that he was at the time, involved with various women inluding strippers. Since he professed his innocence and I so gullibly believed him, there was never the protection that should have been in place. Again, my stupidity for believing him to be an upstanding, good man who had my and our baby’s best interests at heart. Both this woman and I took horrendous chances with a man who professed to be each of our soul mates. On her side, she was his only true love and I was a woman who trapped him into a baby and would not give up on the possibility of a relationship with him. On my side, he knew I hadn’t been with anyone else, so the baby was his and since we had a long history with each other and felt perhaps obligated or pressured into mending our relationship, he played me with my own personal hopes and molded me into a subserviant person who would go along with his charade at any price. Some kind of love. The conditional kind. The kind of love I never thought I’d have in our marriage. But nonetheless, there it was. Some of this clarity, granted, comes from years later and the knowledge and acceptance gained. At the time, you can understand, this was not something that was clear. The players had not shown their cards, so to speak.
As the weeks passed, I moved into the den of liars, the one that I have professed to being so grateful for. ..and on to the next phase of life with O.B.…..…good ol’ O.B. Whenever there’s a lie, he’s never far away. The truth is a delicate seed that if not given light will never grow to the surface.