Abuse is kind of like a puppet held in place by a string. Your puppeteer has a firm hand, a voice that projects itself into your mind and then there’s the game-playing that can literally make you dance to their song. If the puppeteer is really good, you don’t even notice the strings. It’s all an act. One that you’re caught up in. The strings keep you tied to the hope of what was once what you believed your reality was. The sad reality is that broken strings would be in a sense, a reprieve, but you can’t move your hands to untie the knots. You’re caught up in a vicious circle of mental flip-flopping. Where will I go? What will I do? How will I manage?
There’s a kind of “black and white” value that is present when there’s physical, financial and sexual abuse. There’s a trail. Whether it’s a paper trail or a physical sign; they leave their indelible mark. It’s a much clearer picture. It’s much harder to define, evaluate and get validation for the abuses caused by manipulation, lies, and deceit. In small doses, you’d probably have a difficult time identifying these factors as abuse or chalking them up to life’s ups and downs with a spouse. It would be just a transition in most cases. Brought on by difficult times or stressors.
When the isolated experiences are cemented in place by years; they develop into a pattern. A repeat offender, so to speak. Continue reading