Consistent Uncertainties

Never underestimate your power to heal with a kind smile or hurt with a simple word.


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The Puppeteer And His Posse

Abuse is kind of like a puppet held in place by a string. Your puppeteer has a firm hand, a voice that projects itself into your mind and then there’s the game-playing that can literally make you dance to  their song. If the puppeteer is really good, you don’t even notice the strings. It’s all an act. One that you’re caught up in. The strings keep you tied to the hope of what was once what you believed your reality was. The sad reality is that broken strings would be in a sense, a reprieve, but you can’t move your hands to untie the knots. You’re caught up in a vicious circle of mental flip-flopping. Where will I go? What will I do? How will I manage?

There’s a kind of “black and white” value that is present when there’s physical, financial and sexual abuse.  There’s a trail. Whether it’s a paper trail or a physical sign; they leave their indelible mark. It’s a much clearer picture. It’s much harder to define, evaluate and get validation for the abuses caused by manipulation, lies, and deceit. In small doses, you’d probably have a difficult time identifying these factors as abuse or chalking them up to life’s ups and downs with a spouse. It would be just a transition in most cases. Brought on by difficult times or stressors.

When the isolated experiences are cemented in place by years; they develop into a pattern.  A repeat offender, so to speak. Continue reading

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Behind The Curtain

Conscience is the window of our spirit, evil is the curtain — Doug Horton

Those of us who’ve been around a sociopathic individual or two in our lives know exactly what this quote means. Conscience is like a clear window; unobstructed. Most of are very conscious of our conscience. Then you have the mind of the sociopath and  all bets are off. They hide behind the curtain of normalcy. It’s ironic that many people still believe that a sociopath is either an ax murderer or a drooling, obviously insane person who can’t cope. Nothing….nothing could be further from the truth.

Most sociopaths are very intelligent…and seldom pick up an axe other than to chop wood. A sociopath would much rather have someone else chop their wood…because something like that might just be something they consider beneath them. However, they are certainly not opposed to making their “subjects”  feel like they’re minimal.

Don’t get me wrong, the sociopathic personality is very charming until Continue reading


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The Exploits And Misadventures Of Onion Boy – 14

The layers of deception run deep; outwardly you would be none the wiser

Random snippets of real life drama with an ex-husband who lived to lie and cheat and cover his tracks and situations where he financially, emotionally and physically abused. As in many things in life, the truth was buried…buried deep within the layers of the infamous cheater who we will call Onion Boy (O.B. for short). We will strip away the layers for all to see the loser is not the victim but the man who believes he can lie so well that he will never be caught…

During my daughter’s first years, Onion Boy (her father) was seldom seen at family occasions…let alone other days of the week. Despite having taken up residence a mere 10-15 minutes away. The door at his parent’s place where I lived with my daughter was always open to him Continue reading


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Embracing Choice

Hello friends, it’s been quite some time since i wrote something a little more personal. Sometimes, it’s easier to write about others and their troubles and remove yourself from the spotlight to regroup. Maybe you won’t want to read, maybe you will. Maybe it’ll mean something to you or maybe it’ll just be the ramblings of some stranger. I happened across this saying on a facebook friend’s status and found myself (internally) pumping fist in the air and shrieking at the top of my lungs (again internally) the words “DAMN STRAIGHT!!” in reaction to the “I Choose” spiel that i had just read. But then, i began to think to myself that there was some sort of cosmic pull or some time shift (sorry, admitted trekkie fan over here) holding me back. Realizing that it was my inner self ruining my “AHA” moment, i felt myself getting superbly pissed of at my overzealous psyche horning in on all those warm and fuzzy feelings. But then, like a punch in the gut, Continue reading


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Fabrications: A Liar’s Stock In Trade – 2

As I sift through the what I now know was a sham of a life I had with Onion Boy, more times than not, I find myself wondering WHY the need for all the lies. They’re so multi-layered, that it’s hard to relay them in a lucid and understandable manner.

The ability to fabricate and lie Continue reading


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The Exploits and Misadventures of Onion Boy – 13

The layers of deception run deep; outwardly you would be none the wiser

Random snippets of real life drama with an ex-husband who lived to lie and cheat and cover his tracks and situations where he financially, emotionally and physically abused. As in many things in life, the truth was buried…buried deep within the layers of the infamous cheater who we will call Onion Boy (O.B. for short). We will strip away the layers for all to see the loser is not the victim but the man who believes he can lie so well that he will never be caught…

During the Onion Boy days; the time spent as a family was few Continue reading


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The Facade

They are the crimes that make us look at our partners and wonder if they are also capable of such atrocities. The horrid and unsettling acts that make us double-check the locks and make us agree to the telemarketers that call about the security system installations. They make us question our neighbours and close friends. Continue reading