Do Nothing?!

And the saga continues….My newly married ex is back from the honeymoon continuing his antics with other women (the day after returning home) and his ruse of conducting “business” meetings in the evening is no doubt alive and well. Unfortunately or fortunately, depends I suppose on how you see it, his new bride is blissfully unaware of this nonsense. If this were indeed the new start that he’s been going on about; there would be nobody happier for him than I. It’s certainly been a long time coming and I would be ecstatic that he’s finally got his shit together. I have moved on to a great relationship and have the luxury of writing these articles and dealing with the past WITH the full support of my partner. What a liberating experience to go from that kind of life to a trusting and respectful kind of love. Amazing! Wait a minute, I’m getting off track here….Anyway, my hope for my ex is that somewhere, somehow he would see the error of his ways and see that although he was leaving a trail of destruction in his wake, the person he was hurting the most was himself. I guess a big part of me was hoping that he would get it together so that his daughter could have a father that she could look up to and admire. I believe that parents are in no way perfect as nobody is and if someone is truly making a positive change, then they deserve the benefit of the doubt and should receive the support necessary to make those changes….the only problem is though that after all these years; he obviously do not WANT to change his ways. Here I am pathetically aware of this AND unable to stop it. Power is a grand illusion in life, both from the cheater’s prospective where they are calling the shots AND from the people watching it unfold. The direct pawns are the ones that need to come forward and say enough is enough. They are not willing to do this or are unaware of this latest chapter in his drama-filled life. As the former spouse, an intervention on my part would be perceived as the actions of a bitter and vindictive spouse. SOOOO….what do I do? I guess I just settle for writing in this blog. There is no way that I could possibly present this in any fashion that the new, innocent and trusting wife would believe me. In the hopes that someone somewhere will see this blog and have it mean something to them will be my resolution to the inner conflict that I deal with. If a person can avoid the pain and betrayal that my small daughter and I dealt with in our situation and learn to question the actions of a person that they have suspicion of and get a resolution that they so greatly deserve then I have been successful in my goal.

Coming soon     www.cheateralert.com

Working towards a better future!

Broken Promises; Forgotten Dreams

Another example of how love triangles end badly can be illustrated with the following true story. It’s a story of deceit, cheating and violent behaviour. It is also about cultural differences and shows how hope and pride can be the downfall of many. Hope that the relationship can be mended. Pride in the fashion of a man, new to the country, putting his pain aside for the sake of his parents and friends approval.

A man who once shared an apartment with his love interest and her husband admitted to stabbing her after she tried to end her relationship with him.

Will All The Good Guys Please Step Forward!

How do you tell the good from the bad? Maybe we should look within ourselves first. What are we looking for in a relationship? Are we consistently looking for the wrong kind of guy. You know the one I mean. The one on the TV ads standing in the shower looking all lean and hot? What kind of images are there knocking around in our heads from a lifetime of watching these sponsors and reading all the magazines with their glossy, larger than life, buffed and polished men who pretend to be selling something other than the image. Often, not always, the man who is wrapped up in themselves and how they look is NOT the man that has the staying power to make it through thick and thin in a relationship….there are exceptions to every train of thought of course. This type of man may be using the excuse that they want to look good for you….hmm….let’s think about that for a moment. Do they look around and watch for who might be watching them? Do they have that way about them that when you’re talking to them; they’re kind of looking over your shoulder at someone else? Do they spend a little too much time in the bathroom primping before they go out? Knowing what I now know…I’d be supremely suspicious that if an opportunity would present itself and life at home was going through a classic, normal slump (as relationships do from time to time) would his actions be honourable? Maybe my experiences in life have jaded me somewhat; I guess it would probably be strange if they had not. Or is it a case of my eyes are wide open and knowing what I know, that I can spot it. I certainly can’t claim to have any super-powers in this department as you are all well aware of my track record with my ex. HOWEVER….I can tell you this, there are good guys out there! It may be a little harder to spot them. They’re the type of guys that live their lives quietly without the kind of high drama that follows the bad seeds around constantly. Watch for them; they’re out there!

COMING SOON…www.cheateralert.com

Working towards a better future!

A Dreadful Affair

If you have been following the story of the double homicide of Paula Menendez and Julie Crocker, you’ll no doubt have some thoughts of your own on it. It’s very difficult not to be the judge and jury on a case such as this. Was this man so desperate to prove his wife’s affair and too devastated to know right from wrong?

Living Life In A Cocoon Of Denial

Everybody does it to some degree. It can be a dangerous practice both mentally and physically. There’s the symptoms that you ignore of a health risk because you may be too afraid to go to the doctor and hear that your life has to change. Perhaps your child is causing problems in the community and you’re in a state of mind that your child would not be capable of this. It’s the same when you’re faced with the difficult task of determining if your spouse has cheated on you or is currently cheating on you. There’s the old feelings knocking around in your head about how he’d never do that to ME; he said he’ll always love me forever.  We do often live in denial when the thoughts are too painful to face. The plain and simple truth of the matter is that some people are just not capable of a lifetime commitment or do not care to be. So how do you figure out who is a worthy life partner? It’s a tough question to answer and unfortunately one that you usually figure out much later in life. Maybe it’s as simple as the whole “who chases who” in the relationship; if you’re in a relationship where you feel pressured by an aggressive partner, maybe it’s best to back away. These could be early indicators of a psychopathic or sociopathic individual. Why do we insist on turning a blind eye or looking for an exciting relationship with an obvious bad seed? Is it the way we’re raised; perhaps waiting for that knight in shining armour or a thought that we can change that individual? Is it our peers who push our buttons and push our limits of reason? Or the media insistent on only passing along the stories that provide the “shock” and “excitement” that sells stories for the masses? Whatever the reason, denial lives in our very day to day lives; it’s alive and well and living in our most private thoughts.

COMING SOON….www.cheateralert.com

Working towards a better future!

The Faces of Domestic Violence

The Monster Within

The Hidden Scars of Emotional Abuse

The Sociopath

Abusers Can Be Male OR Female